Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Finally I am getting around to writing up a follow up post to our adoption experience!  Since we have been home we have been really busy jumping back into life.  A lot of things had been put on hold while we hosted and then fundraised for the girls' adoption.  We have been catching up on some of it.  It has been an adjustment realizing that we aren't adopting and things won't be like we had thought that they would be when we came home.  It feels like our family is so small now!  After thinking that we would end up with 8 to 10 children in our house, only having five is really different and easy.  We definitely have more freedom now than we would have had if the girls had chosen adoption.  Every once in a while I'll realize another sacrifice we made to work to adopt them.  But all of the sacrifices and the momentary loss of freedom that we would have had now are all (and would be) worth it for the girls.  We have no regrets and still love the girls very much.  Jay and I both still feel that something is wrong with the picture and only time will tell what will happen with the girls.  They can still use all of our prayers.  

We still feel like they are our children, but our hands are tied as far as what we can do for them.  One thing that has come to mind is hosting them again.  It would be great for Diana to have a chance to visit America.  I think it would help her not be so jealous that her sisters have come before.  It would also be great to spend some time with them again here.  It's too late to host them this summer.  Maybe we might be able to host them this Christmas, or maybe the next, we'll see.  It's a lot of money to host and I don't feel good about fundraising for hosting them after so many people have sacrificed for them and they said "no."  We have a little left over from the adoption.  We'll save what we can while still living our lives.  We've also been working on our business since we have been home with the thought of increasing revenue to set aside to host them.  If this is the correct path for us and the girls, I am sure it will work out.  We don't have the same time urgency as the adoption because they are staying in the orphanage.  We'd like to be able to bring them over here one time again before Lyuba ages out.

I will soon get a post out about our experiences in Ukraine with the adoption and will include some of the details that we had to be silent about when they were happening.  I have been mulling things over and it has taken some time for things to settle in my mind.  We are still 100% sure we were supposed to pursue their adoption.  They are good kids who are in a really bad situation and had to make a very hard decision.